Image of the Past

…she wondered why it had never occurred to her before that you cannot successfully navigate the future unless you keep always framed beside it a small clear image of the past.”

Age 24, a party animal at brief rest

Oct 2008, Wielding small cute child to distract camera gaze

Jan 2009, friends' wedding, mirror to deflect gaze

Greenwich April 2011, my biggest, RA treatment working but I'm burnt out

Well, above is how I used to look. From Spring 2008- Spring 2011, life was very painful with often 25+ joints swollen and immobile, and raised CRP and ESR making me feel like I had flu, for ever. Below is how I used to think and how I reframed my thinking. I have made extraordinary gains in positive psychology since attending my group sessions. They have been so effective.

The defeatist stuff:

  1. I’ve always been big
  2. Emotional? Eat! Tired? Eat! Trapped by illness? Eat! Bored? Eat! Celebrating? Eat!
  3. Nursery food to provide and pick at
  4. I’m so big there’s no point trying
  5. My thyroid doesn’t work
  6. Woe is me! Poor me! I have a severe dose of rheumatoid arthritis, I give up!

The positive twist:

  1. No you haven’t. You’ve overeaten for years and been sedentary for a decade
  2. Stop eating, start nourishing
  3. It’s not beyond the wit of woman to do stop creating and picking at unhealthy leftovers
  4. I’m so big it is even better for me to try now
  5. The levothyroxine does, and you do still metabolise you know:)
  6. I have a challenge, I have help and support, I have access to expensive and effective drugs. I owe it to myself, family and my society to make the best of things.